Change of Plans

Well, yesterday didn't go quite as planned. At all. I ended up not going on the date unfortunately.

I went into work around noon thinking I just needed to do one quick thing and then at 1 someone was coming in to look at everything and I could just touch stuff up and leave. Well, 1 turned into 2:30 and I ended up staying there to fix stuff for our submission until about 7.

I texted my date around 6 saying I was still at work and might need to postpone until 9. When I got home, I texted again asking if he was still up for catching a movie tonight. Around 830 he finally sends me a message saying he was in the subway and at the gym, whens the next show start. I told him. It was closer to 10 by that point, so it was going to be a late show. He texted back saying he was pretty beat and asked if we could do it another time during the week.

I don't know if we'll be meeting up during the week, but I'd still like to meet this guy. I'm fine with cancelling last night too. Somehow work managed to throw my whole day off. This is why I don't really make plans for the weekend very often. Inevitably I'll get stuck going into work and it will just throw everything off. It's annoying.

So yeah, no date. Not too upset or anything. Just disappointed.

Oh and it's probably a good thing we cancelled too. Because, around 1030, I get a call from the 2 people who are apparently still at work saying they're having problems with the pdfs and printing and they tell me they really need me to come back in since I know my way through the files. I was a little annoyed to be going BACK into work on a saturday night, but it was also nice to be needed, and I think it looks good to be going the extra mile on a project that I haven't even been on for a full week.

Not Sure What to Expect

So tonight I have another date setup. I signed up on this new dating site that I wasn't all too sure of at first. It seems like it's mostly used for hooking up rather than finding something more long term. I signed up anyway though, and it seemed like there were a lot of guys on there at least. Most of them just want to find someone to hookup with, but a couple have seemed genuinely interested in at least chatting and getting to know one another. But anyway, I met someone on there and we've set up a date for tonight. He's the one who emailed me. Although, when he emailed, he asked if I was interested in getting together that night. I think his exact words were "yo bro wanna fuck. looking for now." Usually this would be something I'd just delete, but he looked good and his profile sounded like he was generally a decent guy. So I replied saying something like sorry not really interested in a hookup, good luck man. Later that night I got bored though and messaged him asking if he'd had any luck finding someone and from there we started talking. We've been chatting off and on for about a week now. He seems like he's got his shit together. Not in a relationship right now, so he's just enjoying himself. Very laid back.

Anyway, I asked him if he wanted to get together this weekend and maybe watch a movie and he said he'd be down for going to a movie. I kind of was expecting more of a watching a movie at his apartment type deal, but I'm down with doing the theater too. I've just never actually gone on a date at the movies. Especially not a first date. I hope it's not awkward that we'll be sitting quietly in the dark watching a movie after only having met 20 min prior. Just seems slightly strange to me. I'm thinking maybe we meet early, get tickets, and grab a coffee before going to the movie or something. Haven't quite worked it all out just yet. But I'm excited. He's definitely a good looking guy and was very interested in maybe showing me a thing or two. ;) Haha. Hopefully we hit it off.

This might also be my first date that's not in the afternoon. So, I don't really know what the expectations are as far as going back to his apartment or going out afterwards. I think it's supposed to be raining. :( Seeing as it's a first date though, it's probably best if I don't go back just yet. Maybe save that for a second date. Haha.

I'm off to work now. On a Saturday. Shoot me. Is it really that much to ask to get a full weekend off? Honestly. This is the 3rd one in a row that I've had to go in. It's getting a little ridiculous.

Finished and a little Frustrated

Oh man. Finally done with the competition I was working on. I didn't really do a whole lot with the final design, but I've been working on the presentation material for the last week or so. It's been pretty fun. Just me and one of the associates. But since there are only two of us, it's been a lot of hours this week. I was there until 12 on Friday! And then all day on Saturday and Sunday. It wasn't awful though. Plus I get tomorrow off! I'm pretty stoked. Might do some shopping. Maybe clean up my room since everything has turned into one big pile of mail and clothes. Should do my taxes too. That's exciting... :-/

Why does it seem so hard to find a guy. I know I probably complain about this a lot, but I'm just getting a little frustrated lately. Mostly with myself as I'm realizing that I must not be the most social person. I guess I just don't have a ton of confidence going out alone. This weekend I passed up on a friends birthday celebration. My friend from work and a couple of his friends have their birthdays around the same time, so they were having a party at a bar in the LES. I wanted to go, just because he's a good friend and we really don't ever hang out outside of work events. The only thing was that no one I knew besides him was going to be there. So I was hesitant to go alone especially since, being his birthday, he probably couldn't really hang out with me most of the time. It would have just been better if I had another person to go with. He even texted me asking if I was coming that night. I felt bad saying no and that I had just gotten home from work and was exhausted. Even though I had just gotten home from work, I probably could have gone. This is why I'm frustrated. I can't seem to get myself out there and then I get annoyed that I haven't met anyone.

Anyway. Looking forward to a nice day to myself tomorrow.

Busy Busy

Sorry I've been so awful at keeping up to date with this thing. I've been crazy busy with work the last week. It's Friday night and I just got home at midnight. Monday can't get here soon enough!

I know this is probably the most boring post you've ever read, so sorry for that. I'll try to post something slightly interesting when I'm not about to pass out.

Hope You're Not Expecting Much

Well, not a whole lot going on lately. I just felt bad having gone so long without posting.

The boy from the date is kind of drifting off I think. I don't know how much longer we'll be "friends" unless he suddenly starts putting some effort into communication. I sent him a couple messages earlier in the week and didn't get much response. So I just counted him out and assumed he was cutting off communication. Whatever. But then yesterday I emailed him just to see what's up because I was bored at work. Probably not a great move - I don't want to be that guy - but surprisingly he replied. He said he was on his way to NJ, but that was about it. I told him to email if he has some time this weekend and he said he'd drop me a line. We'll see. I figure if it doesn't happen, then it's just not something I should be worrying about.

It's just kind of lame when you have people show up on your facebook and are just reminded that they're still out there but aren't interested in talking to you. I mean I know I read way too much into things, but I probably should take these guys that I have little chance of ever meeting again off of there. Honestly though, it's facebook. I'd rather have some link. You know, just in case. Haha. Never know when you might need to contact some one for anything really. It's the beauty and curse of facebook.

Well, otherwise, work is going well. I'm on a competition now, which is actually a cool project. Nice to be working on a single building as opposed to huge masterplans. Only problem is that it's a small team, so if I have something really labor intensive to do (which I do), I end up having to spend a lot of time doing it on my own.

Alright. I think that's pretty good for not really having anything to say in this post. I promise that if anything interesting happens, I'll get it on here ASAP. ;)

Up and Down

Not a lot happening at the moment. Work is beyond boring, although today I've found ways to keep myself busy. Last week we had a deadline and when I came back to work on Tuesday, I was told that I was moving to another project but wasn't told which. So I asked emailed all the principals asking what I should be working on, and no one emailed me back.

This worried me. I mean, I'm not as worried as I was in January when it seemed like something might happen, but it would still be a big change if I got laid off. Our boss comes back on Friday, so I was thinking that maybe they already knew that I'd be getting laid off and no one wanted to get me started on anything just to end up going a few days later.

Well today one of the principals was working on something near my desk and commented on how quiet it was over there. And of course I try to play it off, yeah it's been like this for a while now. I've got lots of space to spread out over here. He then asks me what I'm working on. Heh. Today I had literally returned a pair of shoes that I bought online and updated my resume a bit. That's it. It was prob around 4 by now...

He then goes on to say that everyone was clamoring over what to do with me when I sent that email. I was like, umm ok, well I never heard anything. It sounded like they were waiting until everyone was back in New York to decide who is working on what. I think the Croatia project is back on, so hopefully I'll be put on that. We'll see I suppose.

In other news, that guy is sending me mixed signals. Maybe they're not signals in his mind, but to me, they're kind of confusing. Like yesterday morning he IMs me asking how my night was. I talked to him for a minute saying I was on my way to work and that I'd shoot him an email. So I sent one after I got settled at work. No response all day (and this is the guy who sent me like 30 emails a day last week. short ones, but still). So I'm bored out of my mind all day because I literally have nothing to do, and I email him something dumb around 3:30. He writes me back and we email back and forth a couple times. He then sends me a text saying goodnight later that night. This morning I send him an IM just saying whats up and shoot me an email if you get a minute later today. Nothing.

I know I'm obviously reading into this more than I should, but I just liked having someone to do the whole back and forth all day thing with. I guess this is what "just being friends" meant. Limited contact. :-\

And That's That

Well, that was certainly short lived. I guess I got my hopes up too much. I didn't really hear from the guy yesterday save for a couple messages in the morning and maybe one or two at night. He was out of the city all day and then said that he was sorry but his phone had died during the day. Ok.

But then this morning I'm talking to him on aim and he disappears all of a sudden. I then get an email saying that he keeps getting kicked off. He then says.. I had a really great time this weekend. Think we should be friends though. Cool?

My heart sank a little. I mean, it was only one date, so it's not like I'm owed any explanation, but I of course am wondering why. Especially since it seemed like everything went well on the date itself. My only thought is that I just wasn't flirty enough and maybe he got more of a friend vibe from that. I really don't know.

I think he may be serious about being friends though. At least, I hope he is. I can always use a gay friend who kind of knows what he's doing. Right now, I'm just a little hurt is all. I'm not really sure what I want. I guess I'll just think it over. For now, the ball is in his court. I know I don't want to be the desperate guy who can't handle the rejection. If he wants to do the whole friendship thing, that's his prerogative. I'm game if he is.

First Date

So I went on the first date with the guy I met online. We met in the park and then walked over to the restaurant we were going to for brunch. The initial meeting was slightly awkward, haha, seeing as how I went in for the handshake (we hadn't met in person up to this point) and then had to switch to the hug midway. Awkward... I'm a retard. He thought it was funny I think. Then we had a really nice brunch. Mostly just talking and telling each other a lot of things about ourselves. He was really easy to talk to. I must have some sort of anxiety problem though and maybe the fact that I had had a HUGE mimosa before we had even ordered didn't help, but once the food came, the thought of eating just immediately made me nautious. I was having a really good time and I felt pretty comfortable, but for some reason, and this isn't the first time this has happened, I just could not eat ANYTHING. It's not like it was a lot of food either. I took a bite of the english muffin and immediately felt like it was a mistake. I ended up not taking another bite and having them clear my untouched plate. The situation was slightly embarrasing. He seemed to think nothing of it, but I was still embarrassed. After that, I just stuck to water while he proceeded to drink 4 bloody marys. Haha. We then walked over to the waterfront. It was way chillier than the morning though, so that kind of sucked. We ended up holding hands by the time we got there. And then we walked to the end of one of the piers and sat in the grass. It was pretty deserted (seeing as how it was freezing out) save for a couple runners. We ended up laying in the grass and making out quite a bit. It was really nice and I wasn't self conscious at all about being in a public place making out with another guy. (It was freezing and we were in the West Village though, so of all places...). Eventually though, I couldn't stop shivering (literally like 36 degrees out and we were on the water. cold!) and so we had to call it a day. I walked him back into the city and put him in a cab. Gave him a kiss goodbye and told him I'd text him later. All in all, it was a very good date. Minus the potential for vommiting half way through and the loss of feeling in my fingers by the end, I had a great time. I think I really like him so far and am hopeful there will be many more dates to come.