Friday, January 30, 2009


30 Rock...
And still employed...

A perfect Friday night after a long week.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Feeling a little more confident about my job these last couple days. We just started a new project in Croatia for a huge huge masterplan. Like seriously the size of manhattan almost. We won't be designing the entire thing of course, but it's still a very big project. I think it's the first project I've been on to see the beginning phase. It's a little daunting, but I think it will be good for me. We also start some competition in Rio soon which is a lot smaller. I'd like to work on that as well. I've been doing a lot of stuff on masterplans over the past several months, so a single building would be a welcome change.

Other than that, life is pretty quiet. I didn't do anything this weekend. I watched a couple movies. Did some grocery shopping. That was probably about it. I had to work on Sunday. Even though it was only a couple hours, it still blew the whole day. Just knowing that you should be going into work makes it THAT much harder to get out of bed. I was shooting to get in by 2, but it turned into 430. I left at 7 too. Haha. And then went in early this morning. It's ridiculous. You can tell everyone is a little worried, because pretty much the entire office was in by 10. A month ago, there were probably 5 people in by 10. Crazy. I guess everyone just wants to play it safe for a little while. Even though no one with any kind of decision making power actually gets in before 10 or 1030. I just happened to need to finish my stuff. Tomorrow I'll be in at 10. Or my usual 1015.

I'm sure this is scintillating reading. Haha. I want this cold weather to go away. Maybe i have S.A.D. I never thought that I did before, but this year I've just kind of been a little down. Hmm... I should call some friends and definitely get out of the apartment this weekend. I'll probably have to work though. :(

Friday, January 23, 2009

Quiet Week

It's been a pretty quiet week. The office has felt very empty and I can tell that my energy is just down. More so than usual. I never realized that a lack of job security could weigh on you so much. I'm certainly not the only person in the office who's concerned. Pretty much everyone is. The only thing I have going for me is that I'm definitely the cheapest person they have. Which is good and bad I suppose. I'm not necessarily much of a designer. At least, I haven't really shined in that capacity in the year that I've been there. Model making and craft is something I'm extremely good at though, so I suppose that's of some value. Hopefully.

My friend came to visit this weekend. It was a good visit. Good to see him. My roommate was friends with him as well. It was good because I didn't feel the need to constantly entertain him. I guess I'm just kind of lazy / selfish like that. Haha. I think he had fun. Although, we could both tell that he seemed a little off. Before he left, he told us about some relationship stuff he's had going on recently. Poor guy is kind of in a tough situation at the moment. I didn't really know how to respond when he told me because it involved another friend of mine whom he has been dating. It was just a little awkward. Aside from that, we had a good time. Saw a lot of the city. Showed him the office. Went out to eat. All that good stuff. It was SOOO cold last weekend though that it made doing anything outdoors pretty unbearable.

Oh. And apparently he has known I am gay for a long long time. I didn't really pry as to how he "figured it out", but I do kind of wonder if it was something specific or just kind of putting the pieces together. I mean, I figure I'm a decent normal guy. Haven't had a girlfriend since ever pretty much. And I don't have any declared "interested in:" on facebook. I think it pretty much goes without saying that I'm gay. Haha. Anyway, he told me in an email he sent a day or two after he was back. He sent one to my roommate and I saying thanks for having him and also apologizing for any awkwardness. But then I also got a second one saying he was aware I was gay and just saying that he's obviously cool with it, blah blah blah. I'm glad he said it. One less person to worry about "coming out" to. I just don't like having to deal with the whole conversation and formality of it. Just ask me and I'll tell you the truth. Easy and over with.

I also managed to meet up with two of my friends who got laid off. Very sad that I'll probably hardly see them from now on. I really hope something big happens at the office and we can just hire people back on. I don't know if they'd take it, but it's my pie in the sky dream. Lol. They both seemed in better spirits. Just rolling with the punches. They're still young, so it's not like it's some crisis for them.

That's pretty much all that's gone on this last week. I'll probably be working this weekend at some point. :( But at least I guess I still have a job, so I should be grateful... I guess

Friday, January 16, 2009

Upsetting Day

So I've been pretty on edge for most of the week and here's why:

Tuesday evening my friend who's higher up in the office than I am tells me that she was told that 13 people are being let go tomorrow (wednesday). So I think "yikes, that sucks". And then I realize that I'm one of the least-experienced people in the office and I haven't been busy since the break. Hmmm. I proceed to kind of freak out a bit for the next hour.

It's very unnerving going into work knowing that something bad will happen any minute. Looking at your coworkers and knowing that they have no idea that their job may or may not be gone by the end of the day. It really made me sick to my stomach. However, Wednesday came and went. No layoffs. By the end of Thursday, I was much calmer about it. I had just come out of a meeting with my team and we all felt there was enough work to go around.

Today, however, the shit hit the fan. Around 345 I see all the principals and our boss gathered near the conference room with rather grim looks on their faces. As I'm walking by I glance in and see a handful of people who I know aren't on the same team standing in there. That's when I realized they're letting people go. A whole group.

10 people out of the 70 or so who work in our office got laid off today. We all work very closely together and everyone in the office is there because they are good at what they do. It's a high profile firm, so the people they hire are quality workers. You could tell that it was extremely difficult for them to lay off even just one person. I mean, how do you choose.

By some miracle, however, I wasn't chosen. Some of those who were, were real surprises. Some of them were really close friends. Actually two of them, guy and a girl, were probably my closest friends in the whole office. It was extremely sad. The guy was sad but more in a "what can you do" kind of way. My other friend though was definitely upset. It especially sucks for her because she's not a US citizen, so if she can't find a job, she has to go back home. When they actually left, I was ready to start crying. Like I seriously had to walk away from my desk. I just can't imagine how shitty that feels.

Maybe I don't handle change very well. Especially when it concerns people I care about. I really hope things turn around and we get more work and can bring people back. The principals brought all of us who were left together and told us what had happened afterwards. They said how difficult it is and unavoidable and that if things pick up, these are the first people they'll be calling to bring back on. I don't know how likely that will be, but I really hope they are able to come back.

Anyway, it was just a very sad day and I'm counting myself extremely lucky that I still have a job, but that doesn't mean I'm not still ready to cry just thinking about my friends and what they're going through right now. :(

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Droppin' Some Cash

I just got back from Soho. My problem with shopping is that I usually do it when I have something specific I need to buy, and then I usually don't find something and end up going home empty handed. I have trouble just spending money on things I don't actually need or don't totally love. Mostly because there isn't a lot of money to spend and that's just how I was raised. But today I needed a coat. And I knew where I wanted to go looking for it. G-Star.

The first time I went there, it was a couple months ago on my first date with Boy 1, who is pretty much out of the picture even though I'll admit, I'd be pretty excited if I did ever hear from him again. That time, I got a pair of pants on sale that I wasn't sure about at first, but now I really like them a lot. Anyway, I get there today and all the coats were on sale. Sweet. Pretty much everything in there was on sale actually. Thank you financial meltdown. So I ended up finding one and dropping over 200 bucks on it. Oops. Haha. But I needed it, and I really like it, so the money doesn't really bother me.

I actually really like being able to buy myself things like that. Things I know are way too much money to spend, but I also know are really nice. I've lately gotten into buying high-end jeans (on sale of course). Ever since that last pair I got at G-Star, actually. I remember, in high school, I thought 80 bucks was a lot for a pair of jeans at the mall. Recently though, I spent 180 on a pair from Barneys. They are by far the best jeans I've ever had. I guess that's one thing for being young and single. Disposable income. :)

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

A Little Bit Wary

So one of my best friends from college emailed me today. He's coming to visit me in the city next weekend apparently. He's kind of a strange guy. Very personable and easy to get along with, but he can kind of be an asshole sometimes, lol, so he doesn't have many close friends that are willing to put up with him. Initially, I had a crush on him and thought he was pretty likely gay, but over the past couple years (and upon finding out he's definitely straight via a couple heart to hearts) we've gotten to be just really good friends. At school, we used to just hang out when we had any free time and watched movies together. One summer we did a road trip to SC and went camping for a couple days. Just normal friend stuff.

Anyway. He emailed me today and said he's excited about coming to visit. He hopes I've got some stuff lined up to do and that he wants to go out and let loose. He also asked if I've got any hot girlfriends. This would probably be normal guy talk, but I've never really been that kind of friend with him. I mean, I've never told him I was gay, but I assume he would have been a little suspicious by now since I NEVER talk about that stuff. He's also not the type to go out to bars either. Like EVER! I seriously can't remember ever seeing him drink. Maybe wine, but I'm not really sure. Anyway, I just found it kind of weird and not something I expected to come from him.

So now I have to figure out what to do with him next weekend. Luckily he already knows one of my roommates from school, so it's not like I have to do all of the entertaining. Maybe I'll see if some of our other classmates who are in the city want to hang out one night and go to a bar or something. I've been meaning to get together with some of them anyway. Otherwise, I have no idea what we should do. Last time I visited him up in Boston (like a year ago) we wandered around Cambridge and then saw a movie that night. Went to dinner, but that was pretty much it. I'm not entirely sure what he's expecting.

Is it bad that I want him to sleep in my bed with me? Lol. It's happened before, but we were sharing a hotel room. We do have two couches in the LR, so it probably wouldn't make a whole lot of sense. Maybe I'll just have to get him really drunk. Haha. I wish he weren't so damn attractive. He has one of those soccer player bodies that totally do it for me.

I've got over a week to figure all this out though, so we'll see what happens. Watch me end up getting asked on a date or something for that weekend and have to turn it down. I really wouldn't be surprised. Haha.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Pleasantly Surprised

Well, I guess New Years went better than I expected. I may not have gotten my New Years kiss, but I had a great night. And the next morning, aside from being tired and achy, I was totally fine. I guess that's what you get when all you drink is Belvedere and Grey Goose. I think, even for 150 bucks, it was worth it. A good experience overall. The club wasn't anything amazing, but my friends and I had a lot of fun together. I guess it all just depends on who you're with. Go figure. Haha.

New Years Resolution: Go Somewhere Warm Next Year!