Home Again

Well, Sorry I haven't posted in a while. (I don't know to whom I'm apologizing, since there are maybe three people who have actually read this blog. Haha.) But, there really hasn't been a whole lot on which to post. I just came back from my parents house and doing all that Christmas stuff. It's pretty boring there, and they're in a new house, so it doesn't really feel like home. Plus, it's just nice to sleep in your own bed with your own things around you. Our cat was particularly glad I came home, seeing as how she's such an attention whore and has been alone for several days.

Let's see though. I have been talking to this one boy online as of late. He doesn't live in the city though. He's about a 45 minute train ride out in New Jersey. Which, honestly, makes me think there's little chance of it turning into anything. I also don't know if he's really my type. He's kind of got that punk look that some guys have. Like, he probably should be wearing clothes another size smaller and that sort of thing. I know it's judgemental, but I'll admit it, I judge. I haven't totally written him off though. He definitely looks very nice without clothes. Probably a little short for me, but whatever. We've been just fooling around online for the last couple weeks. He's also not out which is probably the biggest problem. He only realized he was into guys within the last year and he's in his mid-twenties. But he wants to come into the city and go on a date and stuff, so I suppose it can't hurt to meet him. He's really sweet and we've had some pretty intimate conversations online. But I worry that I'm a little more realistic about what might actually be possible between us than he is. Like, I think he may be starting to like me more than I actually like him. I also worry that I worry too much and should just let things happen as they happen. Haha. But that's me. I analyze. Potentially to a fault, but nonetheless it's what I do.

He's out of town right now, but when he gets back, I think he wants to meet up. It makes me nervous, but I think it'll be fine. There's another boy too whom I potentially will meet when he gets back to the city. He actually lives here and seems more my type, so I just don't know where that will lead.

After never having put any effort into dating or trying to find someone, I'm starting to realize why it's such a big deal. Like, every movie or song you see or hear is about love and what a struggle it is. And even with the LIMITED bit that I've put into it over the last couple months, I'm starting to really see what everyone is talking about. That's life I suppose and it does feel good to be making even a tiny effort. It would be easy to stick with the status quo and just go to work all day and come home and go to bed and then do it all over again, but I've done that. I'm good at that. It's time for something or someone new. I'm bored with just me.